What happens when...

You even out.  When normal is normal for longer than what was once normal, you start feel normal.  And in feeling normal, you are able to look back and sift through the experiences, big and small.

Like after the tide has retreated, each grain of sand becomes an individual piece of the larger, beautiful expanse of beach that stretches out so far, but no longer seems too far.  I can see the moments, the hurts, the incidents, the reactions and the beach goes on as far as the eye can see.

So, now, I start sifting.  I've evened out.

"New Year, New You"

So, they say....  Rather, I'd like to find authentic me.  That's not yoga speak, I promise.  It's not a deep, spiritual(-appearing) venture.  I want to strip away all the stuff, the expectations, the effort, the impressions and just figure out who the hell I am.  Right now, I'm the girl who struggles to complete stupid online personality tests because I truly don't know if I'm tea or coffee...

Truth is, I'm probably both.  I've always been an imbalance of extremes.  Woods or grids, silent or loud, all or nothing.  Maybe that IS me, that indefinable who knows what.