When I considered the title of this blog, I was thinking in terms of looking back. Ironically, as I've been contemplating my feelings as this anniversary arrives, I think the reflection refers to that which I see in the mirror. I'm looking at the same face, the same fears, the same darkness that I saw a year ago. I have made changes and grown stronger, but I'm still so totally broken.
I've cycled back through depression, to recovering, to healthy and back to depression. I did well when I worked at it constantly, which required that I step away from my life constantly. As I drew back together again the pieces of my life, pieces of that recovery, the tools, fell by the wayside. I have slipped back.
As always, I will keep fighting. I will stay brave. I will try very hard not to hide, not to retreat, although it is against my baser instincts. I want to hide and to sleep and find a safe corner to bury myself in. Thankfully, I have a good life and that life will continue. I hope to continue to move forward as life moves forward.