Wednesday, June 25, 2014


When I considered the title of this blog, I was thinking in terms of looking back.  Ironically, as I've been contemplating my feelings as this anniversary arrives, I think the reflection refers to that which I see in the mirror.  I'm looking at the same face, the same fears, the same darkness that I saw a year ago.  I have made changes and grown stronger, but I'm still so totally broken.

I've cycled back through depression, to recovering, to healthy and back to depression.  I did well when I worked at it constantly, which required that I step away from my life constantly.  As I drew back together again the pieces of my life, pieces of that recovery, the tools, fell by the wayside.  I have slipped back.

As always, I will keep fighting.  I will stay brave.  I will try very hard not to hide, not to retreat, although it is against my baser instincts.  I want to hide and to sleep and find a safe corner to bury myself in.  Thankfully, I have a good life and that life will continue.  I hope to continue to move forward as life moves forward.

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