Monday, December 28, 2015


I have been in the midst of the most fascinating transformation...  

I've decided to stop being a pushover.  That statement requires a bit of explanation.  I am not a victim.  I never have been, even when I have been, objectively speaking, victimized.  Rather, my flaw is that I am a pleaser and a fixer, and a tad too trusting.  I want others to be happy and, somewhere along the way, I took that desire on as a responsibility.  

Where has being overly accommodating ever gotten me?  And no, it's not all about what I can get, but it sure is about what I've chosen to give up.  I'm redefining what is important to me and I'm sort of high on the list.  

So am I going to become a #bitch?  Ha ha, I doubt it.  Rather, I'll need to start creating new expectations for myself.  Today, I stood up for something that didn't make sense to me (and believe me, it was outside my comfort zone to do so).  I was perfectly polite, had a positive interaction, and ultimately the outcome was favorable to me, but the entire time I was in the middle of it, I felt like a bitch.  I felt like "that lady" who requires accommodation for every whim.  Really, my request was pretty reasonable and it was granted and the outcome is better, but I felt bad for asking.  

That will need to get better.  

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