Friday, December 27, 2013

I am getting better

As I've recovered over the last year, I first measured my life in moments gone by.  Time dragged, nothing good happened and I mourned the loss of all that time just wasted.  There were so many sleepless nights and regrets that I couldn't separate them.

As I started to get better, I could measure things in momentous occasions, the day that client threatened me, the day I was served with my first OLR complaint, the day I hid under my desk, the day the police came to my house . . .

And as I continue to get better, I'm noticing that I have started to measure things in positive experiences, like the day I had my interview for yoga teacher training, the day I decided to stop practicing, the day I looked forward to doing something instead of wishing I could stay in bed.

I am getting better.  It is slow, slower than I am satisfied with, but if I look at the big picture, I AM getting better.

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