Sunday, January 12, 2014

Love me for my mind

As a young woman in college, then law school, and then again forging my solo practice in the still male-dominated field of law, I have always given special value to my mind.  In fact, I gave it so much value that once I left the practice, there was little left about myself that I valued.

Today I read an article, aimed at young women, encouraging them to find someone who loved them for their minds.  This article focused on mind versus physical body.  Let him love you for your mind, your mental agility, your thoughts, rather than your physique.

I'm struggling with a different battle.  I valued my analytical mind and I have no real need for that at present.  I can still make articulate points, be wisely skeptical, and present a strong argument in favor of some position, but to what end?  What does that lend to my present life spending precious time with my gentle children or selling organic food products?  What is my mind's worth?

And worse, without the value of that mind, what is left?  What is MY worth?  It's been a difficult question for me.  I am realizing, though, that what is left is the head that is lead by my heart, rather than raw intellect.  I don't have to dissect complex problems to have a worthy or beautiful mind.  My mind is now full of whimsical concerns like how to introduce my children new things while out in the every day world.  I have room for imagination, to think about what I want my life, my space, even my expression, to look like.

Once again, I have the chance to contemplate what is joyful to me.  It's a question I had long since put aside for more "important" things like being sure I could make a worthy argument.  I'm thankful for my education.  I will likely use it again in a more traditional sense someday.  For now, though, I am grateful for a clear mind to explore what my heart and soul have to say about my life, rather than barreling through my existence because my mind was occupied by something other than living.

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